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Dear Diary,
Today I would like to tell you about a person that I see on a weekly basis. I do not know this person very well, but I would like to. We see each other every week at the same time. He once told me his name but this has escaped me and I am too lazy to look at the sheet of paper I have that carries this information. For the purpose of this entry, I will call him Professor Zombie Wizard of Oz. This does not mean that he is my professor for my zombie wizard of Oz class- that is self-taught- he is my Political Science teacher. He is strange.
I call him Mr. Zombie Wizard of Oz because 1. He acts like a zombie and 2. He is the Wizard of Oz. He is also the gatekeeper in the Wizard of Oz. He is basically every character that Frank Morgan has ever played- but especially in the Wizard of Oz. His eyebrows are longer than the hair on his head. He smiles creepily after he says anything about electoral colleges or anything in general. He also pronounces “the” as “da”. Which is awesome. He is also very smart but that is irrelevant.
I decided to share my experience with this man today after witnessing the most awesome thing that has every happened in a community college cafeteria ever. I was sitting at a table, reading page 6 of the internet, when I noticed it was 3:54- almost time for class. I looked up and saw professor Zombie Wizard of Oz walking in the hallway towards our classroom. He uses a rollie backpack and also has a man purse. (It is very small- probably holds his markers, stapler, and ruby slippers.) He was rollin’ his bag down the hallway when his right wheel hit something. Blank face and all, he looks down, sees what it is, and jerks his bag over the item- with force. Does not pick up his bag and go around it, does not back up and avoid it, he simply forces his 2” wheels over the top of the item. He rolls right over it, rendering it useless. What was it you ask? A fucking sandwich. This dude is awesome.
-m
Photo reblogged from Kitschen Party
(via kitschenparty, noonish
Dear Diary,
I want every day to be in .gif form.
Source: noonish
Photo reblogged from Kitschen Party
My brain fell out when I made this one.
(via noonish)
Nick’s .gifs are the best thing to happen to the internet
Source: noonish
Photo reblogged from Kitschen Party
.Gif #2934: In which Margaret perpetually loses and then finds her phone.
(via noonish)
Source: noonish
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Dear Diary,
Today, while I was walking to the library to do some studying, (That’s right, there’s a first time for everything.) I was whistling to myself as my feet trotted along the sidewalk. I stopped whistling for a moment, and my tongue grazed the bottom of my #16 molar. There, on the sidewalk, tongue in my mouth- I felt a piece of food.
All I could think was, “please let it be bacon from breakfast this morning and not a piece of spinach from my lunch.” And it was.
-Margaret
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